terima kasih cinta

Ketika aku asik melayan games kat laptop,hp ku berbunyi..ringtone lagu "Rihanna-Rehab" pon berkumandang. Ingatkan msg sape..rupa2nya........

"Assalamualaikum.. Boleh pulangkan jam n scarf i..? i nk pkai. i nk pulangkan duit u skali. maaf menganggu.."

Arghhhhh!!!!! tension+sedih+terkejut aku lps baca msg tu. Msg dari Bad,my ex bf. Mmg aku nak pulangkan barang2 dia,tapi aku xde kekuatan utk jumpe dia. Aku takot aku menangis dpn dia. Aku xnk dia tau yg aku still syg giler kt dia.what should i do? I didn't even reply to his msg. Kalo ikutkan hati, aku nak pulangkan barang2 tu sehari lps aku mintak break tp aku xberani nk jmpe dia. Everytime kawan2 aku sebut nama dia, hati aku sedih..kdg2 mata aku berair dan aku menangis kt dalam hati...aku sedih sgt2..terlalu sedih!

Nobody knows exactly what i've been thru since i'm with him. Iwas so damn happy and sad at the same time. I'm so happy to have someone to love,to care and to share life with. I've never been so close to any guy like this,so close.... I spent MOST of my time with him..yeah its like my world revolved around him. i have no other life except him..you know why?

Dia xbg aku kawan ngan lelaki..I obey him. So, i stop hang out with my guy frens. Dia suruh aku delete SEMUA no phone lelaki... Mula2 aku hangen gak,tp disebabkan xnk gadoh2 aku pon ikut ckp dia..So, I deleted ALL guys's phone number including my uncle,my cousin.. Mule2 aku xdelete no phone sedara.pastu dia marah lagi n aku tros delete. Nasib baik dia xsuruh aku buang no phone ayah n abang aku.. DAMN! so,I faced a hard time. Sometimes nak contact wafi n syabab(my classmates),nak tnye pasal class pon susah. At the same time, my close frens dah terasa because i stopped hang out wif them.. *I'm so sorry..I didnt mean to do such things to u guys*

Disebabkan dia xbg aku lepak ngan kwn2 lelaki,aku pon keluar ngan kawan2 perempuan sahaja. Zhafa slalu menjadi mangsa utk teman aku makan.. sometimes ngan pQah. The "greatest" things is when i'm with my gurl frens, he'll be mad at me and send me text "pegi mampus...pegi jadi lesbian.." By the way, aku lupe nak bgtau yg dia mmg slalu mencarut,maki hamun,marah dan berkasar ngan aku... Bila dia marah,perkataan2 seperti "AKU", "ENGKAU", "LU", "GUA" akan terkeluar dari mulut dia ditambah dgn carutan2 yg amat pedas dan menyakitkan hati. Aku ingat lagi,masa baru2 kapel ngan dia,baru je dlm 3 hari kot.. dia msg aku n aku lmbt reply..dia dah maki hamun aku yg bukan2..typical him: if xbalas msg dlm masa 2 minit,dia akan hantar another msg..and it will continue like that and ring u. then dia akan maki hamun kaw2.. bnyak kali aku xreply msg dia sbb aku mandi..dia dah msg and maki hamun. bila aku kuar shower, aku tros call dia n cakap aku mandi tadi..then dia ckp "alaaa ye ke...ok ok delete msg td k.jgn baca"... aku dgn sedihnyer pon kata ok.walaupon aku dah baca sume yg dia hantar. Terlalu bnyak utk dicerita pasal dia marah aku.boleh dikatakan almost everyday kene mrah.

Aku bersabar sbb aku syg dia.Ntah la...mcm org bodoh je.. tapi entah la..he's one of a kind,i really like him,we did losta things together,we shared sweet moments..it this love?? I just dont know. tapi dunia ktorang berbeza..macam langit dgn bumi...we live in a totally different world. Dia slalu samakan aku ngan gurl dlm dunia dia; liar,jahat,penipu,materialistik,pisau cukur. I'm not like that.. What i wanted from u is just LOVE n TRUST.

well, i guess this is it.. Aku lega aku mintak break that day. Aku dah xmampu bersabar lg sbb aku dah xhappy lagi.U changed me alot n I've lost my bestfrens. I'm trying to find me that i used to be. I want to be happy again. Thanx alot, u taught me alot about life. Aku xkan menyesal kite penah kenal.

Thanks Bad..

SO LONG!!